There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
