I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
