I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
