it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
