i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
