You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i believe in u and ur pee
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
