so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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