Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
