i was rollin on her like bob the builder
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
