Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
