It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
