drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
