drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
