she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize