I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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