im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
