Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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