...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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