We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
