I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
