you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
