she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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