Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
