4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
