Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
