he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
