What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
soo... how was my night?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
