Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
