The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
