She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
