So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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