If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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