I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
