We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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