did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
