clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
they're like a gay fantastic four
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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