so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
