Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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