I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sorry about my life...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
