just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
