The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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