Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
