And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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