I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
