road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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