I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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