trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
