i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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