He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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