you win again, gameday.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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